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Monday, January 31, 2005

8:40AM - Weekly Weigh In

Starting weight: 354.5
Current weight: 265.0
Weekly weight loss: 1.8 lbs
Overall weight loss: 89.5 lbs

Body fat percentage (1/05) 62.8

I’ve decided to only measure my body fat percentage on a monthly basis. The first Saturday of each month, so next week will be the official check in. To be honest, part of the reason for my decision is that the scale is a pain in the butt to use for body fat percentage. 85% of the time it gives me an ERR message instead of a body fat percentage, so I don’t want to hassle with it any more often than I have to. 

I know that 1-2 lbs a week is a healthy rate of loss, but for some reason this week, I’m very frustrated that I haven’t lost more. I’m not sure why, because normally any loss is enough to make me happy. Maybe it’s because I had a flawless week. I wasn’t even tempted to indulge in foods I should have, despite the abundance of it at work. The closest thing that I had to a “cheat” was a quarter of a whole grain bagel. The only reason that could even be a “cheat” was that I had been informally on Phase I for the rest of the week. I’ve been basically alternating weeks of Phase I and Phase II for the past couple of weeks, but it hadn’t been anything that I really decided to do, until I realized that I was already doing it, then I made a decision to do it.. This week is a Phase II week. So anyway, maybe that’s why I find it irritating that I only lost approx two pounds- because it just seems that for a flawless week I should have lost more. How silly.

Oh- and a week or two ago I was saying how pleased I was that I haven’t gotten sick despite the bugs going around the office. I spoke too soon. Now I have an icky sinus cold. It’s not as bad as what everyone else has had to deal with, and it is the first time I’ve gotten sick this year, so I’m still convinced that following the SBD has made me much healthier and resistant to disease.

The only problem with being sick is that, despite the relative mildness of the cold, I can’t do the aerobic part of my exercise program. My ears are clogged, and my nose too, so I get out of breath and dizzy pretty easily. Damn. Oh well, I can still do the weights, so long as I’m slow and careful, so that’s what I’ve been doing. And I can really feel it in my arms. Ouch, in a good way.

What do you guys do for exercise when you get sick? Do you just push on through, do you give yourselves a break and just let your body rest, or do you do some thing easier, but still active? Just wondering.

Current mood: cranky

Monday, January 24, 2005

8:57AM - Weekly Weigh In

Starting weight: 354.5
Current weight: 266.8
Weekly weight loss: 2.8 lbs
Overall weight loss: 87.7 lbs

Beginning Body Fat percentage (two weeks ago) 62.8
Body Fat percentage last week: 60.2
Body Fat percentage this week: 61.4

I'm back on phase I this week, just because it feels right. I might alternate weeks of Phase I and Phase II for a while, at least until I get back down to the weight I was, pre-holidays.

I've upped the weights in my workout a bit. I'm going to be doing that, a little at a time, for a while. I really want to build some muscle mass, along with dropping the fat. I think long term it'll be a really good thing.

I'm finding the body fat percentage thing to be very interesting, but nothing I'm going to be really focusing on. It'll be like measurements, I think. Something you look at over a very long period of time, not a weekly basis. It just fluctuates too much to look at too often. I'm thinking of only posting it once a month. I'll have decided by next week's post, which may be on a Monday again, if my home computer isn't fixed by then. But, the results are from Saturday weigh ins.

Current mood: content

Monday, January 17, 2005

8:58AM - Weekly Weigh In

Better late than never. These numbers are from Saturday, I just didn't get a chance to post them until today.

Starting weight: 354.5
Current weight: 269.6
Weekly weight loss (.6 lb gain)
Overall weight loss: 84.9 lbs

Body fat percentage last week: 62.8%
Body fat percentage this week: 60.2%

I'm taking the body fat percentage change with a grain of salt. It's nice to seee the drop, but I'm not sure how seriously yet to take the measurments. I have been working out like crazy this week, which perhaps accts for gaining a tiny bit of weight, it may very well be muscle, which would also drop the body fat percentage. I feel smaller in my clothes, so I'm not worrying about the weight so much. BUT- there have been such drastic variations in the body fat percentage over the course of the week that I'm reserving judgement on that. I made the circumstances as close as possible to the original, to make the comparison as good as possible, but still.

I think as long as there is an overall downward trend, that will be good, but I'm not going to have a party over this week's drop, as it may not be completely valid.

Afterall, it's all just one part of the whole- weight, BMI, Body fat percentage. You have to look at the whole picture. I'm definitely feeling good this week, I've worked my body hard but not too hard, and it's been feeling great. So far I'm the only person in my office that hasn't caught the evil flu bug that's been going on, where as a year ago, I'd have been the first or second person to come down with it. I credit it entirely to the fact that the SBD and the excercise program I've been following has made me much healthier and stronger. That, and I just dont' have time to be sick. :)

Current mood: calm

Saturday, January 8, 2005

9:27AM - Weekly Weigh In

Starting weight: 354.5
Current weight: 269 (eep)
Lowest recent weight: 251
Net weight loss: 85.5 lbs

Well, on Monday when I started weighing myself again, I'd gotten up to 281. That hurt to see, but so far in my re-visit to Phase I, I've shed quite a bit of that, and I've got one more week of Phase I to go before going back to Phase II. I'm considering staying at Phase I until I've re-lost all the holiday related weight gain. But, I really miss my Phase II breakfasts in particular. I can live with having salads instead of sandwiches (I tend to prefer that anyway), I don't miss bread with dinner or anything like that, but I really really miss my oatmeal, and bran cereal. And I miss the fruit.

LOL- Listen to me whine! I gained 30 lbs in a month, have lost 12 in less than a full week, and all I can talk about is how much I miss Phase II.

Anyway, obviously my current goal is to get back to 251, then after that it's to get to 240. My overall goal is still the same, since I'm still really far from it.

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Current mood: cheerful

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

9:32AM - The Year in Review (the longer version)

Wow. So much has changed this year, health wise. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally. I am so much healthier, stronger, smarter this year than I have ever been, I think.

In 2004, here are the highlights:

I hit a 100 lb loss of weight. I have re-gained a small amount of that during the holiday travelling and feasting, but not much and it should be easily re-lost.

I lost 10 sizes, if you count by whole numbers, 5 if you count by the even numbers that most clothes tags go by. I went from a 28/30 to an 18/20. I'm pretty damn impressed by that. I had to buy new clothes because my old ones were literally falling off me, which is not acceptable at work.

I can do 30 minutes on my elliptical machine at resistance level 1, or a 20 minute program of varying resistance levels without collapsing into a whimpering, sweating puddle (which is almost literally what happened the first time I tried that. It hurt so bad I cried). I can chase my kids around, toss them in the air, dance madly in the living room with them. I can go all day without a nap, doing actual work, and still have the energy to make love to my husband. Well, at least most of the time. That depends mostly on what time I got up and what time he comes to bed.

I learned to belly dance, and to do yoga. I have weights, and I use them.

I am managing a punishing schedule of work/home/recreation that is getting easier day by day.

I am more mature and loving, more flexible, more proud of myself than I have been in a long time. I've stopped feeling like my co-workers are talking behind my back about how horrible I am at my job. I have more confidence in my ability to handle a crisis, and to handle everyday things too for that matter.

I have learned to respect and admire myself, and to look on my accomplishmetns with pride.

There's still a lot of room for growth, still another 100 lbs to lose, but wow, the progress I've made.

No wonder I now feel that I can hold my head up with pride.

Current mood: accomplished

Saturday, October 30, 2004

9:48AM - Weekly Weigh In

One Hundred Pounds Lost!!!!

Beginning weight: 354.5 lbs
Current Weight: 253.0 lbs
Weekly weight loss: 2.5 lbs
Overall weight loss: 101.5 lbs!!!!!

I didn't drink any coffee yesterday, because I didn't feel like I needed it, and overnight, I must have dropped a lot of water weight or something, because this past week I've been hopping on the scale every day, looking to see if I'd hit the 100 mark yet. I was very close yesterday- but hadn't hit it yet. And then today I've surpassed it.

I had to double check, and triple check to see if the numbers were right, because I'd only expected to maybe hit the 254.5 mark, and to see I was a pound and a half lighter than that really surprised me.

Three of my co-workers were really happy yesterday when I told them (because I just HAD to tell someone) that I was a half a pound away from having lost a full hundred pounds. One of them wanted to throw a party (which would have had pretty much only foods that I can't eat :) ) Two of them want to do the South Beach diet now too. I told them I'd bring in my book on Monday so they could at least copy the food lists, but that they should seriously consider buying the book themselves and reading it. Neither of them like to read though, so they just want me to hold their hands and guide them through it. While I'm thrilled that they want to take steps to be healthier, and that they have found my experience to be somewhat inspirational, I don't want to be their sole reference. After all, I'm only human, and if I slip I don't want them to think that whatever I've done is the right thing. Maybe I'll buy them the book, one for each, as a gift. I might just do that... I'm more than willing to be supportive and to answer questions if something doesn't seem clear to them, but the book is just too valuable a reference to do without it all together.

Anyway, I'm really happy today. My next goal is 252, which will put me at half way. After that is 250, which leaves me with only 100 lbs to lose.

Yay, happy dance!

Oh, and I'm going shopping. Over the past year I've been tucking away a bit of money here and there, anticipating that at some point I would actually have to buy new clothes that fit. Today I'm taking $100 of that (the number is not coincidental), and buying some new clothes. Including new underwear that fits. Fortunately, my mom has more than enough pants to give me (she has pants in just about every size, since she refuses to ever throw anything away, just in case one of her kids might need it someday), so I just need to get shirts and sweaters appropriate to the season, since all of my clothes from last fall/winter are WAY too big. Goddess, that feels good to say. :)




Saturday, October 16, 2004

8:46AM - Weekly Weigh In

Beginning weight: 354.5 lbs
Current weight: 257.0 lbs
Weekly weight loss: 3 lbs
Overall weight loss: 97.5 lbs


I am sooo close to having lost a full 100 lbs that it's driving me nuts. In a good way, though. I can just hardly wait to see the 254.5 numbers flash on my scale. :)

I can just see me now, weighing myself every day, or maybe five times a day, to see exactly when it happens. But, I'm still 2.5 lbs away from those numbers, so I'll just have to wait until the end of the week, since it's not too likely that I'll see it before then.

I've worked really hard this week. I didn't eat even one thing I shouldn't, and even passed on things that I probably could have had, like my favorite "low carb" icecream bars (but boy do they have a bit of fat in them), and worked my ass off. Quite literally. :) I'm starting to get very familiar with the stairwells in my building at work. I haven't quite figured out exactly how many bricks there are in the walls, but give me a few weeks. After going up and down them repeatedly a few more hundred times, I probably will know.

Today is the 5th anniversary of my marriage to my wonderful Beloved (who sadly, is not having quite as much success as I am on SBD, but he has a lot less to lose). I'm planning on doing a Phase 3 day today. I'm still going to follow the basic tenets of the diet plan, but I'm going to allow myself a little leeway. Only because I have absolutely no idea what we're doing today. He has made big surprise plans, and I don't want to ruin the mood of the day by saying "Oh, honey, you know I can't eat this kind of food" every time we turn around. Fortunately, he's fully aware of what I will and won't eat, and he's very very considerate and supportive, so it shouldn't be very much of a problem. But, just in case, I'm giving myself official permission to relax a tiny bit. But fear not, I have no plans to gorge on french fries (which I think I don't even like anymore), or bread (which I definitely still like, but I really do prefer the whole grain varieties, so much more flavor), or decadent desserts (although I may go with the three bite rule, if something looks too good to resist all together).

Oh, and I had given up hope of being a size 20 by my anniversary, but this morning I was able to pull on and button and zip (without having to forgo breathing) a pair of size 20 jeans. They are a bit tighter than I prefer to wear, but I can sit, and squat, and breathe in them. I'll probably wait a week or two before I wear them to work though. :) I have two more pairs of size 20's which are slightly smaller than these, and they don't quite fit, although I was able to pry myself into one of them. I can only wear that pair if I don't need to sit or breathe though.

Monday, October 11, 2004

6:07AM - Saturday weigh in- a little late

Guys, I am sorry I'm so late posting this- I was away from my computer all weekend, but I did manage to hop on my scale before I had to leave. Here are the results:

Beginning weight: 354.5 lbs
Current weight: 260 lbs
Weekly weight loss: 1 lb
Overall weight loss: 94.5 lbs

I'm a little disapointed that I only lost 1 lb, but hey- 1 lb is better than nothing. And my period started this morning, so I know that I have a bit of water retention to contend with as well. I was very pleased to notice this morning that though my weight didn't change much, my thighs are thinner. While I don't take my measurements, I do wear my clothes, so I got to see a couple of changes. The pants I'm wearing today clung to my thighs like long separated lovers last week, today they are just waving a friendly acknowledgement, hopefully in a couple of weeks they won't even be speaking to each other.

Question for you all-

Originally I was planning on joining a gym this winter, but as it turns out, I simply can't get it into my schedule. Unless I don't want to sleep.

So, my husband and I looked at some excercise equipment, and surprisingly, it wasn't as expensive as I'd thought it would be. We've narrowed down our choices to two, and I'd like your opinions on which you think would give a more effective workout.

Choice 1: The Elliptical Machinehttp://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.gsp?product_id=2400608&cat=4134&type=21&dept=4125&path=0%3A4125%3A4134%3A77630: I have some experience using one of these, from the last time I joined a gym. I know that this machine will kick my ass for a while, something I would enjoy. The thing is that it doesn't fold up or anything, and would take up a fair amount of space in my living room. Also, my husband has an old knee injury. I am not sure how that would affect his ability to use it.

Choice 2: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.gsp?product_id=1597237&cat=4134&type=21&dept=4125&path=0%3A4125%3A4134 The Gazelle Edge Trainer: This one is easily folded up for storage, and claims to not put any strain on the joints, which may be better for my husband's knee. I'm not sure if it will give as hard a workout as the other though. Do any of you have experience with this machine?

Any input would be appreciated! Thanks!

Current mood: busy

Saturday, October 2, 2004

8:28AM - Weekly Weigh In

Beginning weight: 354.5 (I was listing my weight from april, since that's when I started formally tracking my weight in a journal, but I decided to go back to using my true beginning weight)
Current weight: 261.0
Weekly weight loss: 3 lbs!
Overall weight loss: 93.5 lbs


Let's talk about goals for a minute. Every morning I set myself a "process goal" for the day. It's usually something like- don't eat the candy at Stacey's desk, or no coffee, or to not drop my arm early during my workout. I often use the same process goal for a week or so until I feel like I've really conquered whatever issue the goal addresses.

I have a standard goal for the week- 2lbs. Then I have my short term goals, and of course my targe weight.

My next short term goal was supposed to be 250 lbs, but I've decided to change that to 254, which is when I'll have lost a full 100 lbs. My next short term goal is going to be 252, which is the half way point, and then 250 after that, because then I'll have only 100 lbs to go. After that, I'm setting my goals at 10 lbs apart, instead of the 25 they were before, because the weight loss is going to slow down and I need to be able to hit my goals on a somwhat regular basis. I realize that my next three goals are very close together, but they all mark important milestones, so I think that's how I want to mark them.

Current mood: pleased

Saturday, September 25, 2004

7:06PM - Weekly Weigh In

Beginning weight: 328.1 (april 04)
Current weight: 264.0
Weekly weight loss: 2.5 lbs
Overall weight loss: 64.1 (35 of that on the SBD starting 7/8/04)


Well, so I lost 2.5 lbs this week. I'm not at all displeased with this, but I'm not really content either. Not because I'd hoped to lose more, that's not my reasoning at all.

I'm not content because I've felt mostly like crap all week. I wasn't doing things the right way, wasn't taking care of myself properly, and it has shown in my attitude especially. When I slack off on excercise in particular, and eat things I shouldn't, I end up in an emotional quagmire of depression and self loathing. I'm pretty sure a lot of it chemically motivated as much as situational. Because even if I'm mad at myself for eating a brownie or something, a brisk walk will make me feel so much better. But if I don't get that walk, it all just keeps spiraling down.

Yesterday I put myself back on a very regimented Phase I again. I've planned when I'll eat each meal and snack and what excercises I'll do each day for the next week. I need to get myself back on track, and I can do that best by being very regimented. Once I feel secure again, and have myself under control, I can afford to relax a little.

So- no going more than three hours without eating something healthy and satisfying. Yoga or aerobics every day, plus walking once a day for at least 10 minutes (break time at work). And I need to keep moving in the afternoons after I get home from work. No laying on the couch staring at the ceiling while the kids nap. That just leaves me feeling sloggy and unmotivated- not very conducive to getting things done.

I'm feeling more in control already today than yesterday, and actually today went very well. I'm feeling alot more happy and balanced right now than I did yesterday afternoon.

I'm hoping next week's post will reflect a happier, healthier me. No, I know it will. I will settle for nothing less.

x-posted.

Current mood: determined

Saturday, September 18, 2004

8:24AM - Weekly Weigh In

Beginning weight (April 04): 328.1
Current Weight: 266.5
Weekly weight loss: 2 lbs
Overall weight loss:61.6 lbs

Not too shabby. I'm shooting for an additional 8 lbs loss in the next four weeks, while I'm taking my tai chi class. I think I would have lost more than the two lbs, if I hadn't had two very bad days- I ate things I shouldn't have, including pizza and wings and brownies (not on the same day). Plus, I didn't excercise as much as usual.

Still, I was only aiming for two lbs anyway.

I'm changing my weigh in days from Thursday to Saturday, because starting on Monday, I have to be to work by 4:30 am, and I don't think I'll have time to do a formal weigh in during the week.

This also means that I have to give up my morning walk, which was going to be happening pretty soon anyway, what with the weather starting to go downhill. But, I will still have my afternoons for my video workouts, and since they are even more important now, I will have to really stick to it.

Anyway, time to head off for class!

x-posted.

Current mood: content

Thursday, September 9, 2004

3:06PM - weekly weigh in

Starting weight 328.1
Current weight: 268.5
Weekly weight loss: 2 lbs
Overall weight loss: 59.6 lbs


Well, it's not as great as I'd hoped for. I'd hoped to hit 267 this week, but it's still pretty good. I've re lost the weight I gained from the birthday party and wedding. And I managed to do that even though I had to go to another birthday party this past weekend, and was staying with my MIL for the weekend- which often causes problems for me.

The next few weeks ought to be great though- five weekends of being home! Plus, I'll be taking my Tai Chi classes on Saturdays, so that's an extra workout every week. I can hardly wait to see how that ends up working. :)

So, while not overcome with my success this week, I am very optimistic about the upcoming weeks. I'd like to lose 10 lbs in the next five weeks- which I think is reasonable. Part of me is whispering "but what if I could lose 18.5 lbs in the next five weeks- then I'd have reached another mini-goal...", but I realize that that is not a realistic goal to set. Two pounds a week is a good rate. Much more than that is not even a very desirable rate, because it will leave my skin saggy and I will look old instead of healthy. At least that's what I keep telling myself. :)

Anyway, I'll be checking in again next week, of course.

Current mood: optimistic

Thursday, September 2, 2004

5:51AM - Weekly Weigh In

Starting weight: 328.1
Current weight: 270.5
Weekly weight change: gained 2 lbs
Overall weight loss: 57.6 lbs

Well, I knew that some of the weight from last week's phenomenal drop would come back, and considering how poor my habits have been this week, having only gained back 2 lbs is pretty good.

The wedding, and the birthday really did me in- although that wasn't the whole of it. I did make some poor choices where I had the opportunity to make good choices. I could have had an omelet for breakfast on Sunday, instead I had french toast. I could have eaten my hamburger (which was bad enough being a premade greasy slider) without the bun, and skipped the potato chips all together in favor of more from the veggie platter. So, I can't blame it all on the wedding and birthday.

But. I'm not upset, because it's still a 6.5 lb loss over all in the last two weeks.

This upcoming weekend is going to be rough as well, because we're going to my MIL's house for the weekend, for a second birthday for the Monkey. I have a plan though.

I'm going to pick up some extra Slim Fast for low carb diets shakes to take with me, so breakfast will be covered. They often have doughnuts, and I want to avoid having that look like the best option. Since I absolutely love those shakes, and they are very portable, that seems ideal for dealing with breakfast. They'll probably have eggs for breakfast one morning, so I'll join them for that.

I'm also going to take some of my very much enjoyed carb control yogurt, and some mozzerella sticks for snacks. They usually have fruit of some kind on hand, not a lot, but enough to have for a bit of variety from yogurt and cheese all weekend.

Dinners will still be rough, as will lunch. Lunch usually consists of a sandwich and chips, and dinner is often pasta based. Although, with it being summer, they may be using the grill more than cooking inside, so I may luck out there. Maybe I should bring salad stuff? Just in case?

I'll just have to make the best choices I can, and get as much walking in as I can. I doubt I'll get time or space to do anything resembling my other workouts, but I can easily walk around my MIL's villiage, unlike when I visit my own mother. Walking on my mom's street can get you killed, as it's extremely high traffic, at high speeds.

Current mood: content

Thursday, August 26, 2004

6:13AM - Weekly Weigh In

Beginning weight: 328.1
Current weight: 268.5
Weekly weight loss: 8.5 lbs!!!!! OMG!
Overall weight loss: 59.6 lbs

I'm trying to not get too excited about having lost more than 8 lbs this week, because I realize that some of it may come back next week, but WOW!

I tell you, that put an extra spring in my step this morning during my walk.

Just goes to show me what I can do when I am absolutely perfect for an entire week (so far as diet and excercise, I mean). Not that that'll happen every week. *snort*

Actually, this upcoming weekend is going to be rough. A wedding and a birthday party, back to back. But seeing this weeks' weigh in results has given me new motivation to "be good".

Current mood: jubilant

Thursday, August 19, 2004

3:03PM - Weeky weigh in

Beginning weight: 328.1
Current weight: 277.0
Weekly weight loss: oops! gained .5 lb
Overall weight loss: 51.1 lbs

Well, considering how awful I was last weekend with diet and excercise, that's not too bad. And when I say awful, I really mean awful.

I had something like 6 homemade muffins for breakfast, white bread on sandwhiches, crap like that. Corn on the cob. And it was all my fault. My in-laws had plenty of healthy alternatives that I could have had, but those muffins- they were calling my name. :)

Still, I'm not letting one weekend de-rail me. Over all I know I'm still doing good. My clothes continue to get a bit looser. My 24s are gettting quite loose, soon I will consider myself officially to wear a size 22. Several of my outfits are 22's, but until the jeans fit the way I want them to, I am still a 24.

I'm also building a lot of stamina and strength. I hadn't noticed a whole lot of difference in strength, until someone at work commented on how easily I was able to perform certain tasks that she couldn't, and I realized that before Squeaker was born, just over two months ago, I couldn't do that either. That made me feel so good.

Today I feel sluggish and bloated, but I think that's because I skipped my walk. I was just so tired and achy. I could be coming down with something, one of my co-workers has been fighting a nasty cold/flu combo that she picked up from her son, and other co-workers were complaining today of not feeling well as well.

I'm going to go do my yoga, before the kids wake up from their nap, then I'll have a snack, and then it'll be time for dinner. yay!

Current mood: content

Thursday, August 12, 2004

2:43PM - Weekly weigh in

Beginning weight: 328.1
Current weight: 276.5
Weekly weight loss: 2.5 lbs
Overall weight loss: 51.6

Only 1.5 lbs to go until I reach my first mini-goal. Technically, I've already met it halfway, I do wear a size 24, almost a size 22, but the other half of the goal is to get to 275.

I must say, I'm very pleased with myself this week. 2.5 lbs is great!

I pushed myself too hard the day before yesterday, and tried running. I've got it stuck in my head that I want to run in the Boilermaker either next July or the July after that, and to do that, I actually have to run.

It made me physically ill, I'm just not ready for it yet. So, my new plan is to keep walking, and every 25 lbs or so I'll try jogging a little bit again. When it has become merely hard and not ill making, I will start slowly adding it to my regular routine.

Yesterday- and this makes me laugh- yesterday I did my belly dancing video while Monkey was asleep. Then he woke up and after a couple of hours told me that it was time to excercise. When I tried to explain to him that I'd already excercised, he gives me this look (the same one I give him when he tells me he's already picked up his toys, and I can see them on the floor), and tells me again it's time to excercise. My son the personal trainer. :)

So I did the second workout on the DVD. OMG. It was so hard. That will be just an occasional workout for right now. I'm not ready to test my floors by having a 276.5 lb woman jumping on them. :)

So, overall really happy this week. Can't wait to see what the next week brings.

Current mood: pleased

Saturday, August 7, 2004

11:53AM

Ahh, I woke up this morning and my irrational happiness was back. I think the sleep, lack of coffee, and lack of sugar in my diet yesterday were what lured it back.

It was nice to once again go shopping by myself. I think I will make that a regular part of my Saturday morning routine. Especially since no one else wants to get up as early as I do.

I tried on jeans today, in two different sizes. I bought two pair that were on sale for $5 each. One pair that fits, one that's too small. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that they are both the same size, and both a size smaller than what I thought I wear. The pair that fits, fits the way my current jeans do, which is comfortably, but a bit more close fitting through the hips than I like. The other pair is too tight all over. I wonder if the jeans I thought were just one size down from what I wore before were maybe mislabled? I almost bought another pair, but decided not to pay full price for clothes that I'm planning on not wearing for very long. If/when those jeans go on clearance, I'll buy them then. And I wandered and drooled over clothes that someday I'll be able to buy.

I called my mom this morning, she and my grandmother went to dinner last night and then went shopping. She bought a dress and a suit for me in my new size. It think she's as excited about the weight loss as I am. I'm going to go get the clothes tomorrow. Apparently they're pretty dressy, so I might not get a whole lot of wear out of them, but it'll be nice to have good looking clothes. She got them on sale too.

So, a good day so far. I love having my irrational happiness back...

Current mood: bouncy

Thursday, August 5, 2004

8:58PM - Bad me

I just ate bad food. I know I'll regret it even more in the morning. It was like some sort of gravitational force was pulling me toward those mini-donuts. I wish Beloved hadn't bought them for the Monkey, then no matter how munchy and chocolate craving I felt, they wouldn't have been available.

Not that this is his fault. I'm the one who picked up the box, who looked at them, futily tried to convince myself not to eat them, and then ate them.

I'm already feeling faintly naseause, although at this point I think that's psychological, because I know all that sugar is going to make me feel like puking, and it's going to give me a killer headache too.

I need to make sure I get more sleep. This always happens when I allow myself to get overtired. Not that that's any kind of excuse, but it is something I need to try to be more aware of. Now, if I can only convince the baby to allow me to go to bed at 9 every night...

Speaking of which, since tonight she is all settled down, I'm going to go take advantage of it, and sleep.

Tomorrow, it's extra walking and aerobics for me, and strict Phase I again, possibly for two days.

x-posted

Current mood: crappy

5:47AM - Weekly wiegh in

Beginning weight: 328.1
Current weight: 279.0
Weekly weight loss: 3 lbs
Overall weight loss: 49.1 lbs

Doing good so far! Upping the calories has evidently made a difference. Also, I'm enjoying feelng the difference in my clothes. It is such a thrill to put on clothes that I couldn't wear before.

I can really feel a difference in my body too, in it's strength and shape, and that is great too.

I can't go for a walk today, the weather is too awful, and I know I'll miss it. Almost makes me wish I'd already renewed my gym membership, but I wouldn't use it enough at this point to make it worth it. But in November...

And I have new motivation for wanting to finish losing weight. In Feb. of 06, it looks like my best buddies and I might go on a cruise to someplace warm and sunny, and I want to look good in a swimsuit. If I'm feeling really brave and confident at that point, maybe even a bikini.

Current mood: calm

Monday, August 2, 2004

6:09AM

It's official- I'm in the next size jeans down from where I was! These jeans now meet all the "fitting" requirements.

I can get them on easily, I can sit on the side of my bed to put on my socks, I can get my hands in and out of the pockets easily, and they don't look painted on. They are still a teensy bit tighter than I would like, but that should improve quickly.

This is just in time, because my other pair is starting to fray around the pockets. I've never actually worn the jeans I've got on now though, so they should last a while.

Yippee!

Current mood: ecstatic

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